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Legend of the Roller Blade Seven [VHS] | ![Legend of the Roller Blade Seven [VHS]](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41GkGKcjOzL._SL160_.jpg)
 enlarge | Director: Donald G. Jackson
Actors: Scott Shaw, Frank Stallone, Karen Black, Joe Estevez, Don Stroud
Studio: Loose Cannon Films
Used (3) Collectible (6) from $19.50
Format: Color, Ntsc
Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Media: VHS Tape
Number Of Discs: 1
Running Time: 90 Minutes
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.4
Dimensions (in): 7.3 x 4.2 x 1.1
ISBN: 6302751306
UPC: 750723000732
EAN: 9786302751307
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| Customer Reviews:
 "The Wheel Zone Knows No Mercy!" December 5, 2007
Robert I. Hedges
First things first: I'm giving this movie four stars not because it's a good movie: I'm giving this film four stars because it is an extremely entertaining movie for all the wrong reasons. This is one of the least coherent, mind-numbing cinematic experiences I have ever seen, and I've seen a lot, including a lot of films with Scott Shaw and Joe Estevez. Even by their usual standards, this is convoluted, stultifying, and ultimately laughable.
The plot is yet another of the futuristic, post-apocalyptic nightmares where gangs of lunatics battle each other. In this case the chief opponents are Hawk (Scott Shaw), a Samurai, and Saint O'ffender (Joe Estevez). Also featured are Frank Stallone as The Black Knight, and Karen Black as Tarot, the good witch. As far as action onscreen goes, I can't testify to anything, as it made essentially no sense, despite the incessant, nagging narration that attempted (unsuccessfully) to stitch the story together for the viewers. This picture in many ways stylistically foreshadows many of Shaw's later films ("Toad Warrior," "Vampire Blvd.," etc.) The only unifying theme in the movie (besides the narration) is a conga man in the desert, who oversees a cast of loonies that include a sinister banjo player on roller skates and a mystical half chicken-half blancmange type of creature, among many, many other characters too diverse to describe.
The film centers on Hawk's quest for love and vengeance, but beyond that I can't really provide enlightenment as to what the film is ostensibly about. What I can tell you is that if you want to be entertained in a post-apocalyptic, laugh-at-all-the-wrong-places, Ed Wood-with-a-camcorder type of way, this film is highly recommended. For now the film is only available on VHS; let's hope it sees a DVD release soon.
 BAD BAD BAD August 23, 2003
B. Carroll (Okinawa)
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
This is probably the worst film ever made and I have seen a lot of bad films. This film seems to take many other films (the parts which end up on the cutting room floor) and paste them together. Most of the film was understandable (I guess) but what was with the lesbian snake dance in the middle of the big fight scene? If you want to laugh as hard as I did, check out this movie!
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